Heroin Diaries Part 2
In this half of the Heroin Diaries you start to read more and more about how he is depressed during the tour. You hear about how sad he is and how he gets bored. So sadly he starts to get into drugs again. It made me sad to hear how he was back to all the coke and small amounts of heavy drugs making himself more sick and sad. You keep hearing how he is pushing himself through concerts and I keep thinking that he’s going to kill himself with all these drugs and alcohol and pills. He’s pushing himself so far it makes him sick and his body is becoming weaker and he is becoming more depressed. But you also see that he is starting to miss his old life more so I’m hoping that helps him get off drugs because he is seeing that he is not who he wants to be anymore. “I can't believe I did freebase again.” (pg. 278). He is starting to realize that doing the drugs and the tours and all the alcohol is starting to kill him and he needs to stop. He starts to see how he is insane and is addicted and he talks about going to rehab after and going to get help after the tour and I hope he gets clean and find the soul mate that he talks about during this part of the book. He lashes out on his family and in the diary and the interview after he says how he felt bad but didn’t want them to know he was all drugged up and he freaked out and had a panic attack.
When Nikki kept slipping back into the drugs it really just showed how much pain he was in, as well as depressed like you said. I could not imagine feeling so low about everything while trying to live that rock stars never say no lifestyle. There really is only a few ways to cope with dealing with things like that and unfortunately his poison was heroin. When Nikki finally come to his senses in this section it gave me a little bit of hope again for him like a pretty big wake up call. As if dying wasn't enough. It was really nice to see his whole perspective on life change again.
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